I sent hate-mail to an English-speaking Jihadist last night. Wow, the internet is amazing. I think I deleted the lines where I threatened to kill him, because I thought that might be illegal. But I left in the part about nailing his dick to the barn floor and setting the barn on fire (leaving him with a knife). So this morning I woke up and kind of freaked.

Then guess what? Yahoo returned the email, and I was so relieved. Then, two hours later I had a beer and sent it again.

I was all over the net last night, lecturing people. It makes me sick, even now.

Do you want to know how late I was up? I was up so late I actually sent some apologies. I was up so late, in other words, I started cleaning up after myself. That is late. Someone in the Micronesia wrote back "are you serious?"

Reach out and touch someone. It's almost impossible to exaggerate how fing amazing the internet is. When it gets late , you just cross over the time zones is all. Pick on somebody in the Phillipeans. Engage with a Jihadist in England. Mouth off and sign your name, Psmith. The only problem is that I can't direct my signal into my own home town. Oakapallokans are oblivious to the internet, to their credit.

What a waste of time.

sheyah, jinxon

Lunkhead is hilarious.
I've been mapping his mental decline over the last month, since he got on the internet. Now he's got some cyber-sweetie. An ether doll. An Imaginary.

During a online chat last night I suggested that maybe 'she' was a 'he'.

Now, you might think it's impossible to tell over chat when someone is having a panic attack. haha, not so, my friend, not so. He sent me her picture three times in thirty seconds to make sure I wouldn't miss it.

It's nice having a pal you can be unapologetically cruel to. I don't know. It sort of keeps me going. In this respect, Lunk has been my one and only for years. It's like love... except it's hate. (but no. It's not hate. I do love the guy).

Moreover, he's gone out and bought a web cam, having no idea how female that is. Or gay. Sheesh. He's the first guy who ever invited me to see his web-cam. Coincidentally, the olive-skinned Portuguese girl sent an invitation at the same time. I chose hers. She wanted me to see she'd stopped dying her hair. Then I chose his. He had all of his 15 kids wave hello. That was nice of course.

Then he starts quoting my friend Mark to me, about how liberating it is to give up blogging. I say, I know I have a problem, and that gives me the credentials to recognize you have a problem now.

He kept typing "sheyah". Every time I became slightly hypocritical it was: sheyah, Jackson.

I said even if she is female, 10 to 1 she's a communist. He said, well yeah, she is. Haha. Of course. She's from Eugene Oregon.

I said I might write her and introduce myself. I don't know what he thought I would say, that's so bad. I don't have anything to blackmail him, except maybe that I'm one of his friends. Then, wow. The Lunk was threatening to kill me and my family too. (Make a note of that).

Ok, I won't write her, stop blubbering, I type.

I'm thinking in a few weeks he'll be such a mess I can go down there and take over.

Maybe this is what I need to get off line. Kind of like, the crazier he gets, the loftier my spirit.
___
And did I mention he has 11 days off from work. hahaha. It's like he's falling into a crater.